ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Just one more game” of FIFA was the most dishonest sentence in the English language.
Then they renamed it. The sentence survived.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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