ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You left them on read "to be mysterious".
They didn't notice. They were also being mysterious. You're now two mysteries who will never speak again.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You said you "thrive in a fast-paced environment". It took you three days to…
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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