ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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