ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
THURSDAY, 27 SEPTEMBER 2018
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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