ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Growing old is mandatory.
Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later. Nothing happened.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Youth is wasted on the young. You wasted yours too. Old age is next,…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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