ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway.
Written down first, so the guilt has paperwork.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- You "don't believe in labels". You believe in being kept as an option.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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