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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION WEDNESDAY, 21 OCTOBER 2020
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
  2. You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
  3. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
  4. You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
  5. You put "open to work" on LinkedIn. Six recruiters viewed your profile. Five were…
  6. You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
  7. Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 445

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