ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 28 JANUARY 2023
Your step counter used to set goals.
Now it just sends "Hello?" like a relative checking you're still alive.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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