ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Monday has its own support group. The group is everyone. The meetings are also…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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