ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- You have an eleven-step skincare routine. Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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