ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
- You "work best under pressure". You don't. You just only work under pressure.
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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