ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment.
The candles are outnumbering the years you've got left.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your resting heart rate is excellent. It's had nothing else to do.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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