ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You bought the yoga mat.
The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible, more mindful and better liked.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- You have 47 tabs open. Three are jobs you'll never apply for, one's a…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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