ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your soft launch was a hand in a photo.
The hard launch never came. The hand has since soft-launched someone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- The house will be tidy again one day. The day they move out. Tidy,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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