ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your therapist said set boundaries.
You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m. to explain it for forty minutes.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
- Your soft launch was a hand in a photo. The hard launch never came.…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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