ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The update is 200GB.
Your free afternoon was smaller.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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