ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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