ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 28 FEBRUARY 1958
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started a podcast with your mate “for a laugh”. Episode 31 has nine…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You wanted a mini-me. You got a tiny negotiator who has never once lost…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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