ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've been "about to start the gym" since January.
It's October. The gym has had two owners and a refurb in the time you've been about to.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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