ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
WEDNESDAY, 11 JUNE 1958
There's someone out there for everyone.
Yours married someone else in 2019. They look happy.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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