ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
You took it in 2016. You've been sitting down since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
- You don't have a spending problem. You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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