ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands.
It will be the most productive minute of the quarter.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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