ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You don't have a spending problem.
You have an income problem, and it's terminal.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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