ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 22 NOVEMBER 1958
He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped to the bar.
You replied in four minutes. That's the part he was counting on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- Mistakes were made. Nobody made them. They just happened, like weather.
- The customer is always right. The customer is also on hold, forever, which is…
- You have a "comfort show". You've watched it 11 times. You've seen your friends…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Your alarm didn't wake you. The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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