ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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