ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Romance isn't dead.
It just stopped waiting for a reply to your "hey" from 2022.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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