ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your friends' group chat went quiet.
It didn't. They made a new one. Same name, one fewer person.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- Your Candy Crush streak is on day 212. The game hasn't been fun since…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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