ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
FRIDAY, 31 JULY 1959
Everything happens for a reason.
The reason is you. It's always been you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- You'll never get on the property ladder. The only plot you'll ever own is…
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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