ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 28 JULY 1959
You'll never get on the property ladder.
The only plot you'll ever own is two metres deep, and there's a waiting list.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Loud budgeting is telling everyone you can't afford brunch. Quiet budgeting is going anyway,…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- A source close to the star confirmed the story. The source is the star.…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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