ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got a houseplant to "take care of something".
It died. Even the plant had better boundaries than you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- Dress for the job you want. The job you have will see you in…
- You are a brief arrangement of atoms that learned to worry about emails.
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You are a valued member of the team. So was the last person in…
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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