ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
- A good night out now means home by ten. Nobody had to come and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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