ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Children are a blessing.
They're also why the remote is in the bin and your savings are in the past tense.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- The sun will eventually swallow the Earth. Until then, the bins still go out…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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