ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wisdom comes with age.
So does standing on the landing with no idea why you came upstairs, or exist.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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