ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been quiet".
You weren't. You were just talking to nobody.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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