ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
"It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English.
It will be only Monday every week for the rest of your working life.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Wisdom comes with age. So does standing on the landing with no idea why…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You have a "5-year plan". It's a Pinterest board. It's mostly kitchens.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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