ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark.
There wasn't. She knew in four minutes. You paid for both.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You bought 41 games in the Steam sale. You will play two. The other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
One quote. Every morning. Delivered before coffee, when you are weakest and the day has not yet had the chance to disappoint you itself.
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