ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Wildflowering means letting the relationship grow naturally, with no timeline.
It has the growth rate of a fern in a windowless bathroom, and about the same future.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Micro-dating is a thirty-minute coffee to see if there's a spark. There wasn't. She…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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