ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
- Fortnite was free to play. It was not free to stop.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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