ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said you're "booked and busy".
Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching a show you've already seen four times.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Mondays aren't so bad. They're just Sundays that opened their bank statement.
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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