ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Youth is wasted on the young.
You wasted yours too. Old age is next, and you've got form.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- Both sides declared victory. The only clear loser was your Tuesday evening.
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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