ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Treat yourself, they said. You did. Four times before lunch. Your pension felt every…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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