ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- The loot box has a 0.5% chance of something good. The studio has a…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- You pre-ordered it for the cape. The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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