ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year.
Nobody noticed you were gone.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
- Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. Your overdraft found it first.…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- You're not a CEO. You're one person with a logo, a free email account…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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