ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your squad misses you, says the notification.
Your squad is four strangers and a retention dashboard.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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