ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You've "romanticised your life".
It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main character". The rent is still due, in a minor key.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Your out-of-office reply is the most confident thing you wrote all year. Nobody noticed…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- The spark never fades. It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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