ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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