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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION THURSDAY, 2 SEPTEMBER 1965
Teamwork makes the dream work.
It also means six people are ready to blame you. In writing.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. Parenting is ten percent love and ninety percent asking where the other shoe is.…
  2. Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
  3. Age is just a number. So is your cholesterol, and it's climbing faster than…
  4. Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
  5. Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
  6. You said "this is my year". You've said it since 2019. The years have…
  7. You're "on a gap year". It's your third.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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