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ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED

DAILY DEMOTIVATION

A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.

ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION THURSDAY, 1 SEPTEMBER 1966
Monday motivation is a myth.
Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave, or your retirement.

— Zack, unqualified

VERIFIED
UNHELPFUL

PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE

  1. They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
  2. When you're gone, the one who misses you most will be the algorithm. It…
  3. Some days you're the pigeon. Most days you're the statue, and nobody remembers who…
  4. You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
  5. Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
  6. Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
  7. The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.

THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR

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Newsletter / Issue No. 446

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