ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Monday is a perfectly normal day. You've got about two thousand more of them.…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- You're "taking a social media break". You announced it on social media. Twice. With…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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