ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“I'm here for the right reasons.”
The reasons are a teeth-whitening deal and a fake tan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- You spent £400 on an ergonomic chair. You sit on it like a frog.…
- No pain, no gain. You chose neither. Your heart has noted it in your…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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